I used to think I was a good writer - until I came to Medium

Don't let numbers or your ability to network make you lose sight of your value as a writer or why it is that you write!

A history of writing

I have written for most of my life. Its been a healthy release since I was a child in a wheelchair who spent weeks at a time in a creaky old hospital bed. There was little else to do between the tests and the pain other than staring at the ceiling and making faces out of the pieces of bubbling paint and peeling plaster.

It was a room full of deafening noise in which I had no audible voice. Poems, songs, letters to absolutely nobody — writing gave me a way to creatively express how I was feeling in a world full of adults making decisions on my behalf. To tell my story to an audience that wouldn't exist until I became an adult myself.

Over the years, I have had work published in magazines, medical journals, poetry collections, and such. As someone that has always been far too critical of myself, writing is the one area I don't give myself a beating over. I am proud of what I have achieved as a freelance and amateur writer, and the opportunity to write has always found me. I've never had to go looking too hard or pitch for the chance to be published. Not once.

The briefest of honeymoons

So when I was trying to find a way of removing the cost of maintaining my popular but expensive blog, Medium seemed like the perfect place to move my non-commissioned writing. Somewhere I could write for myself, continue my awareness raising as an arthritis and psoriasis advocate and perhaps reach a broader audience.

Remarkably early on, however, I discovered that Medium isn't the place where 'good ideas find you', as they like to advertise; but as a writer, where literally nobody will find you - unless you become part of the problem, which we'll cover later.

I was so used to my blog having organic growth that I took for granted that there was a groundswell of readers just waiting to consume your content here, as I found on WordPress and other platforms, regardless of your niche. Yet, I quickly discovered that Medium was almost exclusively writers reading other writers. Like playing to the other bands at an empty gig — it was a soul-destroying realisation.

To date, I have only had one comment from somebody that wasn't here to write. An actual reader! I treasure it greatly.

Another social network

It became clear that Medium was akin to the LinkedIn of the writing world, and networking was king. I wrote on this platform for the best part of six months. I replied to every comment and thanked every reader, but I didn't engage with other writers and their work as that was not what I was here for. I do that on other platforms. I 'posted and ghosted', assuming someone, somewhere, would get something from my words.

But those words fell on deaf ears. I reached nobody other than those I signposted from platforms where I already had an audience. It felt like days I spent in a band where some dodgy promoter said you’d get paid X amount but only if you sold your ticket allocation. I basically brought my own crowd.

Throughout this time, I saw new writers come and, within days, sail past the fabled 100 follower mark without writing a single word with feeling. How? Then I looked into their activity and saw the sheer amount of comments they were leaving on others' work — the 'have followed', desperately trying to prompt reciprocation. It made me cringe on their behalf, and I refuse to participate.

Remembering why I write

I write for me. I write for others' reading pleasure, and I write to raise awareness for the issues for which I campaign. I have no interest in networking — I can do that on Twitter. I write for my words to be read, not for another author to scroll to the bottom and numbly write 'Great article! Follow me back?'

For a brief time, Medium, its algorithm and, more importantly, the culture it breeds made me seriously doubt myself. After being so well received on other platforms, I couldn't understand why nobody read my words here or, even when they did, why they didn't hit the follow button. I couldn't fathom how somebody who had written two 'You won't BELIEVE how I got 2000 followers on Medium' articles in two years had thousands upon thousands of followers until I saw how hard they chased those follows and wrote purely 'for the clicks'.

For a time, I lost my way. I forgot why I write and who my audience is and came so very close to being part of the problem. For all of about two days, I started trying to find other writers like me in my niche until I caught myself almost submitting a comment for an article I had skim-read at best.

The Medium eco system tried to change me, and the daily recommended articles, which have nothing to do with poetry and advocacy, which I write about, only fuel this. It's almost applaudable how many variations of 'this is how I made $xxx on Medium' headlines people can come up with on here! But Medium; I have no interest in reading any of them — I never have, yet you continue to push them. Force-feeding me with clickbait nonsense to the point of bursting.

So I write this to try and save a few others from falling into that trap that the platform sets for new writers — to chase clicks, likes, monetisation and partner programs rather than simply enjoying the art of writing. The wordcraft. The release of sharing your loves, feelings and heartbreak. Writing simply to be read.

And if I’m a terrible writer, so be it — I’ll write anyway!

Your ability to network is not an indicator of your ability to write or value as a writer. Don't confuse popularity with success. Follower count is irrelevant — the reason why you write is the only measure you need to take note of.

This article is a case in point; unfortunately, given the subject matter and title, I strongly suspect this will be my most-read piece on Medium. I hope I am wrong. But if I’m not, it won’t change what I do. Perhaps I am completely wrong and am, in fact, just a terrible writer, it really doesn’t matter if your reasons for writing are anything other than positive affirmations from others.

Trust the process, friends and more importantly, enjoy writing.

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